Late Diagnosis, New Beginnings: My journey to understanding my brain

Alice Cantwell
Aug 29, 2025
3 min read

A personal story of being AuDHD; a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman

For Most of My Life…

I thought I was just not resilient. Desperately trying to be organised but failing miserably. Wanting to breeze through social interactions in the way my friends appeared to and never sure of who I was, as I was desperately trying to be anyone else.

As an adult, I may have looked like I had it together; good at my job, holding conversations, doing all the things an adult is meant to do. But inside, it felt like I was constantly swimming upstream while everyone else was gliding along with ease. I couldn’t explain why I always felt exhausted, why certain environments felt unbearable, why my emotions were so huge compared to others or why I worked so much harder than others just to get through an ordinary day.

For years, I told myself the problem was me.

The Breaking Point

When I became a mum, everything intensified. Parenthood brings chaos and joy in equal measure, but for me, as a neurodivergent mum, it also stripped away the carefully constructed routines and coping mechanisms I had spent years building.

Finding calm in the chaos; quiet moments like these remind me why understanding my neurodivergent brain matters most

Suddenly, my ADHD traits spiralled, my sensory sensitivities became impossible to ignore and the cracks in my ‘mask’ grew wider. I reached a point where I couldn’t keep pretending. I needed to understand what was happening in my brain; not just for me, but for my family.

Seeking Answers

I had always resonated with being autistic; working in autism and ADHD assessments, I couldn’t ignore it. But autism never fully felt ‘right’. I watched a woman speak about the blessing and the curse of being AuDHD and the light bulb went off .

One day, whilst struggling with returning to work, I did a brain dump of ‘me’. Yes, in this brain dump I put all my life experiences against both criteria for autism and ADHD. But I also put my emotions, my difficulties (some that I’d never shared with anyone) and my hypothesis that I was late-diagnosed AuDHD.

The Assessment Process

The process of being assessed was emotionally draining. I didn’t have a smooth journey. My ADHD assessment wasn’t a fair one (and I knew first-hand what a good assessment should be like). In contrast, my autism diagnosis was validating and a breath of fresh air. The internal thoughts of “did I just make all of this up?” were hard to silence. Your brain and the internalised ableism it’s learnt over the years (thanks society!) was crippling at times. These doubts are all too common, especially for women who are ADHD and autistic, who have spent years masking.

When the Results Came

I thought I’d feel a rushing wave of relief, like some do. For me, it felt anticlimactic; in that I already knew, so it wasn’t a shock. The best way I can describe how I felt (which is actually very hard for me as I have alexithymia- a blog post for another day) is that in that moment everything changed, but also nothing changed.

It did bring me validation; I wasn’t crazy and my life made sense. My quirks, my struggles, my ways of coping, they weren’t failings. They were part of a neurodivergent brain that had been misunderstood, even by me.

I wasn't broken. I was different.

And that difference carried strengths I had overlooked: creativity, empathy, passion, and the ability to see connections others miss.

Moving Forward as a late diagnosed neurodivergent woman

Diagnosis wasn’t the end of my journey, it was the beginning of a new one. The more I’ve got to know my brain, the more I can work with it rather than against it. I began to design my days differently, honour my needs without guilt and find ways to live more authentically. That’s why I started sharing my story and creating spaces like this blog. Because I know I’m not alone. So many of us, especially late-diagnosed neurodivergent women, are walking around thinking we’re “too much” or “not enough,” when in reality, we’re simply wired differently.

A Note to You

If you’ve ever felt like you’re swimming upstream, exhausted from trying to keep pace with a world that wasn’t built for you, I want you to know this: you’re not failing. You’re human and you deserve understanding, especially from yourself. 🩷

This blog will be a place where I share personal experiences, professional insights and reflections on what it means to live authentically as a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman, a mum and a business owner who is ADHD and autistic (AuDHD).

You’re welcome here.